Holidays are a special time of year, filled with family gatherings, festive decorations, family feasts and much more. However, for children with autism and their families, holidays can be overwhelming. The added pressure of interacting with people we don’t see daily and the disruption in normal routines can be anxiety-provoking for most, especially children with autism.
Planning ahead is crucial.
You know your child best. If your child gets easily over-stimulated by big gatherings, it may be ideal to break family visits up by size and stagger visiting times. Your child may be selective in what he or she will eat and it may be worthwhile to bring familiar foods and drinks when attending family dinners.
Preparing your child for changes can greatly reduce the negative effects of change.
Showing them pictures of relatives they do not see regularly will help them become more familiar. Role-playing different scenarios that they may encounter can be helpful. If your child doesn’t like being hugged, practice empowering your child with an alternate way of showing affection that is comfortable for him or her such as giving a high five. Social stories, stories illustrating what may occur and appropriate ways to behave, can be wonderful and easy teaching tools. Making social stories, by talking through scenarios that may occur throughout the holidays and accompanying these with simple illustrations, can also be a teachable moment.
Providing your child with an easy way to indicate that they are overwhelmed or paying special attention to when they are showing signs they are overwhelmed can also help you proactively prevent an outburst or meltdown.
Some easy ways to teach a child to indicate when they are overwhelmed might be teaching them to request a quiet break by telling you in some way (e.g. verbally, via picture card, or via American Sign Language). Bringing a familiar toy, such as a favorite stuffed animal or blanket, can also help ease any of these transitions.
Managing expectations is important as it alleviates pressure that may mount in social scenarios.
Celebrate your small successes and accept that everything may not go as planned. Everyone’s ideal holiday is different and family traditions should reflect your own family dynamic. Inform family members and friends if possible of some of your child’s triggers and let them know how they can help (e.g. by refraining from being overly affectionate, by providing a quiet place for your child to retreat to if needed, etc).
Lastly, be kind to yourself. Everyone has limitations. If you need to take a break or scale back, do so.
The holidays are a special time to relish being part of a family. Your holidays may look a bit different and that is ok!
